I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize