literally had 100 drinks last night.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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