i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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