Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
