He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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