its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
