This is not my ceiling
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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