woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
