Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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