apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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