You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
