From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
