At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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