lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
