No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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