Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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