i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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