new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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