He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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