but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
