I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize