my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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