I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
