We're facebook friends in real life
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
