Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
