I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
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Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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