hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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