I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
