About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
ok first of all what the fuck
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
