just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Randomize
