Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
4 words: hood of his car
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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