It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
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If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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