So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
