hotel room ftw
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
