dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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