There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
