Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
