operation have a gay friend backfired
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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