I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
