I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My vagina is officially offended.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
