dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
