You smell like a Billy Joel song
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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