Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
