Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
