Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
