oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
