I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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