This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
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