belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
