I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize