My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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