so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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