I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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