my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
there is glitter all over my balls
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize