I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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