I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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