I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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