one two three fourrrrnication!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
